Considering Darkness and Light

Death and Family Life

I’ve posted a few emblems lately, but I’m back here in “voice” today.

The last week + was either one for the record books, or one to blot from my memory forever. Except that I know I’ll never forget it. As a maturing adult, I also know that I shouldn’t let myself forget a single moment of it, no matter how painful.

A brief, uncomfortable recap. My father, from whom I was unwillingly estranged, tragically fell asleep at the wheel of his car while driving near Elko, Nevada on Tuesday just over a week ago. His car flew off the road and he was killed instantly. Strangely, this was all witnessed by a State Trooper who was driving right behind him. Given the surrounding terrain, it seems implied that it might have been some time before the accident had been discovered, had there not been an eyewitness. There were disturbing and inconsequential details which I will omit here. They are the kinds of things that people can’t seem to restrain themselves from telling you, and that you will never forget. Keep that in mind if you ever have to bear bad news. Keep It Simple Stupid.

So I live with the irony of knowing more about my father’s split-second death than I know of his life during the past ten years. As I implied in previous blog entries, I had tried to reconcile with my father, but he had not received me. It’s a sad thing, but in the last week and a half, I have been comforted beyond measure by bloggers, strangers, friends and family. Perhaps most profoundly, I have been reassured by a sense of a very near, very real heavenly father who understands and loves both me and the man who forgot how to call me daughter. I have been reminded that in heaven, there is grace enough to cover misunderstandings. There is true reconciliation there.